Infestation

Ginger Warrior had a major roach problem. Walking down to the kitchen in the dark was certainly never recommended. With two small children to boot, GW wants rid of these pests. He is recommended by all and sundry to use  a special chalk. But GW insists it is totally ineffectual against this infestation. Over the half term break he is returning with his family to Nairobi, and he requests that a pest control company come round to blitz them, kindly facilitated by Dr No.

They do show up and let in by Rob and Anna. They’re informed not to re-enter the house for 48 hours. The entire house and compound stinks and the floor is littered with roach bodies, not all of which are completely dead. Rob and Anna tell Dr No to send one of the school cleaners around to tidy up. He refuses. Rob and Anna are insistent. And all the food that had been in the kitchen has to be put back in. They beg, they plead and eventually Dr No aquieses.

But whoever they did send round was clearly ineffectual, and GW and fam return to what can only be described as complete carnage. And the house still reeks. GW is concerned. He calls Dr No and asks him to check what chemical was used. He refuses to do so, but offers Ginger Warrior the telephone number. “They speak English” Dr No insists. GW calls, but they don’t speak any English whatsoever. GW is insistent that Dr No calls. Which he does some three days later. Google-ing the chemical it transpires it has been banned in the EEC 18 years ago as “highly toxic and carcinogenic”. His youngest is two and a half. Despite my best efforts, Health and Safety remains low priority at the school.    

It takes almost a week to scrub down the house, all the food had to be thrown out, and Ginger Warrior and Jules and nonplussed.