A Sign of the Times

One of my charming Grade 5 girls made me a new sign for my office door. Her use of apostrophes may well be very disappointing, but i completely love it nonetheless!

Illegal Immigrants

The day Ato S. (GM) departs on his business trip to Dubai and Turkey, i get a frantic call from him. He wants me to check all the residency cards on every student’s Admission Form. He tells me to send every student home that does not have the valid documentation. I tell him to leave it to me and head directly to new Gerji Records Officer, Mehlat, to pass on the instructions. 

It takes almost the whole day and by the end of it, we find we have 74 illegal immigrants. Some of them are Ethiopian passport holders, but they still need validated Residence Permits. It’s embarrassing.

Rather than exclude 20% of the school, I decide to write directly to the offending parents requesting their urgent attention to get the relevant documentation, and offering apologies for those that may have received this letter by mistake. About three parents bring in copies. Two days later, i write a more urgent letter informing them that the school liable to prosecution, and issue a deadline of today to get the required permits.

A very angry and formidable Ethiopian mum, Mrs Wesley, arrives at school on Saturday in the mood for a fight. She reports she has now brought in her three children’s passport twice. I calmly inform her that whilst i appreciate her children have valid passports. she still lacks her daughters’ Resident Cards. If this is not produced by Monday morning, i will have to ask her to remove the children until the documentation is validated. 

In compensation i can offer her worksheets and homework assignments until the permits are ready. She starts berating me and the school for incompetence and all i can do is offer my most humble apologies, and yes indeed, it is the school’s fuck up. She is pacing up and down the corridor like a psychiatric ward inmate, ranting and screaming. Not for the first time i regret not bringing a vat-full of Prozac with me. She informs me it’s too late for her to get child minding cover and she tells me she’ll be dropping her kids into school whatever. All i do is ask her to “support the school” and “don’t put me in the situation where i have to turn them away from the premises”. But she is adamant. And i fear the worse.

I’m on campus by 7am, but i’m not the first on site. Little Mendini, a KG student from Swaziland, and another illegal immigrant beams at me from the monkey bars. We’ve managed to reduce the original 74 to just 16, but 16 is still too many for my liking.

Waiting outside my office is Mrs Wesley. Oh Fuck!!! I don’t need this first shite on a Monday morning. Amazingly she is contrite and apologises profusely for her rudeness. I’m flabbergasted. Apologies don’t seem to exist here – no-one wants to admit to a fuck up. Stunned al i can do is thank her for her apology and understanding. I run around the campus like a proverbial blue-assed fly trying to locate the remaining illicit students and passing out their exclusion orders for tomorrow. No doubt there will be other Mrs Wesley’s.  

Ms J holds the all important residency card 

The X Academy

There is money to be made in education here in Ethiopia.

A few years back an American woman, Miss X married a local Addis guy and set up X Academy.Charges were high and discipline based on military precision. PTA is compulsory and kids regularly beaten – with slaps, pinches (very popular apparently), rulers and sticks. You know the law as you sign up. For many, it is a huge attraction. Ms X then set up a “charity” requesting “donations” for a variety of school and teaching resources for “poor Ethiopian children”.

Everyone feels sorry for beautiful young Ethiopians, and donations rolled in over a variety of continents. The “plea” touched the “souls” of a small American Christian community who not only collected a variety of sports and playground equipment decided they would give Ms X a surprise and hand deliver  the goodies.

Imagine their surprise at seeing the “poor Ethiopian” kids turning up in SUVs and Mercedes with designer school bags and a swanky uniform.

You may not be surprised to hear Boss has a charity in which she “raises” funds for “scholarships”. Ginger Warrior was “amazed” to see that part of the “mission” included the words “help little puppies”. Draw your own conclusions.

International Day

 Mountain Man looking flamboyant in his Traditional English wear

Whilst the school moves slowly but very surely from it’s seven year coma, it is more than can be said for the crappy PTA. The last meeting held on my site a week ago had all the Primary Management Team and just 2 parents, one of which was Dr F.the kind  but inept PTA Chair. Completely pathetic.

I called him to my office the week before, telling him bluntly that i thought the PTA were ineffectual. I tell him i don;t want to take over as i am neither a parent nor a teacher, but wanted to offer him guidance. Why not just get parents across both Primary and Secondary schools together. We boast 56 different nationalities amongst our student cohort and have an International Day. I tell him to find an appropriate venue where we could get our 660 students, 140 staff + parents and guardians. Get parents to cook food and the school would provide the music and the dances.  Mr Z has identified 8^th December and i tell him to get his ass into gear.

But he doesn’t.

Mr Z (Deputy n Head of Upper Primary) informs me on Wednesday informs me he has asked the upper primary students to wear national costume on Friday. Nice gesture methinks.  

Come this morning and i am kitted out in my England football shirt and jeans. A pretty pathetic effort, but token nonetheless. I am put to shame completely by all my beautiful children. They look as delightful as they are. Parents watch on with pride as do the teachers, Ed. Assists, SEN, Clerical and Maintenance staff. 

However, I am on a mission of resource purchasing and armed with my Kia, Yasin The Weasel and Birr 8,000, i’m ready to blow it all on role-play equipment for my adorable Early Years students. Ms J says i will definitely find at Novia – one of the most expensive stores in Addis. And she is right. I pick up assorted blackboards, plastic fast food, tool-kits, farm animals and cash registers. I also pick up assorted rubber insects, reptiles, mammals and fish for our newly appointed Science Co-ordinator - Ms Menbere.

I come back on site at 11.30 and there is a huge party going on outside. The PA system is on max and a mix of Ethiopian classics are blaring out and the Grade Four and Five kids doing traditional dances. Benches have been brought up from the underground Dining Hall to under the canvas shelter on the playground for the spectators. Mr Z is MCing and announces its the last dance. He calls for teachers and about 30% come up to the front. It’s simply rocking with kids joining in and i can’t resist surrendering myself to this somewhat unplanned  (at least by me) chaos. The kids go bonkers as i strut an impromptu Egyptian mummy dance, and even the the sourest faced members of staff (i have at least three of these) are laughing and clapping.

When Mr Z announces the celebrations are at an end, the Grade Fives begin the chant “We Want More” and soon 80% of our 443 student population join in. Time for me to slink off back
into my office and leave it to Mr Z to end what he has started. 

Postscript: As a reader it is easy to make presumptions. No doubt regular readers think i romanticize about how gorgeous and lovely my students are. I remain completely objective as these photos testify.

 All my 440+ children are gorgeous, delightful, loving and respectful (or at least respectful to me) - it is is why i am still here amongst all this madness

Back in Town

It’s been almost a month since Boss was last in Addis. And i was blessed to have the most minimal of contact on her last trip,

But Boss is now angry. Two imposters with blind disregard for protocol have gone straight over her head to the GM, and been granted cartes blanche to sort out the mess she has created.

A barrage of hostile, aggressive and abusive emails have been sent out, almost exclusively addressed to Ginger Warrior. GW is livid and moves from polite, to defensive, to offensive to complete hostile in his responses.  

  

I step up to the plate when she informs us she has a “friend” in England who can “do” Health and Safety inspections, and will fly out in January to look around the two campuses. This was promised over two years ago by Boss to the PTA. But this is school has been Sleepy Hollow and it has never been done.

I query her, asking for his qualifications and credentials. I have become used to Boss being selective on her email responses, and i smell a whopping rat. So i write again with the same query. I get a rabid response about badgering her and she sends a brief C.V. Yes, he has a degree from Oxford, and an MA too, but does not specify in what field or indeed any definitive credentials as a HSI. So i write again asking for further clarification. Like myself he is a Head teacher who has done a few school inspections. I caustically write back, informing her that he is no better qualified than i, and saying i will offer my services for half what his costs are. I cc it to the Senior Management Team, and of course, Ato S.

She arrives back tomorrow for a three week stint. She will no doubt wanna try to exert authority, but the bottom-line is she has none left. Of course she should do the decent thing and step down completely, after all she is sick and old. But she of course won’t.

Ginger Warrior and Mountain Man have progressed the school more in four months than it has since it’s inception eight years ago. I BS you not, because we’re both hearing it from parents daily.